Our fearless Art Supply Quirky Facts reporter at large, Peter Alba, has been asking some tough questions lately. While in Kensington Art Supply (Annette Wichman) in Calgary, Alberta and Art Media (Kathy Christian) in Beaverton, he discovered that both of these retailers keep a book of crazy funny things that customers say or ask for. We thought this would be a worthy ongoing feature of the Art Dog Blog. Peter thinks that there may be others of you fearless retailers of art tools who do the same. Why not email me with your own strange tales? Until then enjoy the accounts of our two featured retailers:
Things Asked asked of Kensington Art Supply in Calgary, Alberta:
1. Do you have any metal shower curtain rings?
2. Do you have blue paint?
3. How do you varnish ketch-up?
4. Do you have any clips to keep your hair curlers in place?
5. Do you have any graphite sticks that I can paint my eyebrows with?
6. Do you have any dry ice?
7. Do you have any “pork” brushes?
8. Do you sell refills for the pens they use in outer space?
9. Do you have any books on how to draw “hot chicks?”
10. An elderly customer had just moved to Calgary and said how happy he was to be so close to their art supply store and said, “because I am an artist.” He laughed and rambled on occasionally interjecting, “I am an artist.” As he started to finally wind down and started to leave he casually turned around and asked, “do you know where I can find a hooker………?”
11. Do you have any graph paper……………without lines?
12. A girl came into the store looking for an 18″ ruler for a class. She came up to the counter with a 12″ ruler and asked if we could tell her how long it was…….
Things asked of Art Media in Beaverton, OR:
1. Do you carry posable chickens?
2. I need shorter brush handles on some brushes, can you cut these for me?
3. Do you carry small “shop vacs” for pastel dust?
4. Do you have like, invisible string?
5. Do you have Post-it notes in chalkboard size?
6. What do you use to blend watercolor pencils?
7. How many bunnies were injured or killed in making these brushes? (She was holding white nylon brushes…….)
8. Do you have “Paint By Number” sets without the numbers?
9. How many pencils are in a 48 color pencil set?
10. Does your “Buy 3 get 1 free” canvas sale include mat board?
11. Customer: I need to make a clay Samurai for a project
Clerk: So how can I help you?
Customer: What’s a Samurai?
12. Do you have vinyl charcoal?
13. I need a spray paint that is “acid free” and “archaic..”
14. Can you tell me the difference between hard and soft brayers?
15. How many feet in a yard…………two?
16. I am looking for a retractable X-Acto knife. I like to keep it in my purse to clean under my fingernails.